


Never Saying Goodbye To You

by antarcticdnp



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-14 08:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20597444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antarcticdnp/pseuds/antarcticdnp
Summary: Kurt Hummel has never loved someone as much as he loved Adam. Everything has gone right for him- He has the job of his dreams, amazing friends, and an amazing fiancé. But when Adam dies before he can even say 'I Do' at the altar, Kurt finds himself seeking comfort in his friends and family. But mostly, his best friend Blaine Anderson.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello,  
i hope you enjoy this fic! it's mostly a hurt/comfort fic, but there might be smut later on. I got the idea from a different fic, but I'm not entirely sure what it's called- If the premise seems like something you wrote, please message me if you would like credit. once blaine and kurt get together (and they obviously will), i'm going to try and avoid the "blaine was better than the dead fiancè" trope, and instead exercise the idea of blaine being different, someone he could love just as much as adam.  
Enjoy!
> 
> i do not own glee. if i did, the 2nd break up never would have happened.

A center spotlight, flooding a once dark stage with blinding oranges and yellows, illuminating one man beneath them. The man was singing, a most peculiar sort of tune; For, it was a song about something the man himself had never experienced- The man was an actor. He was one of the best actors in the building, as a matter of fact, and Blaine knew that.  
As he watched the man sing from where he stood in the wings, he felt a certain sense of pride- Because he himself had created the gorgeous outfit the man was wearing, using the perfect type of fabric to make the lights bounce off of it, transforming into the most beautiful colors that showed off the man's porcelain skin and his light colored eyes, all coming together to compliment his light brown hair perfectly. Blaine felt proud that he was able to work with such unusual measurements- The man was tall, his rather broad shoulders narrowing down into a small waist. The costume showed off his elegant frame, and although Blaine had had some trouble with the proportions of the man, he felt proud that he was finally able to tie it all together.

But, the costume was not the most impressive thing on stage tonight- No, it was the man. The man's name was Kurt Hummel, and this was his first Broadway show. He was witty and kind, showing the utmost respect to anyone who worked with or for him. He was the best singer Blaine had ever heard, and he had longed to get to know Kurt. Although Kurt had been nothing but lovely to Blaine, he hadn't been the one to catch the actor's eye. No, the one who Kurt had decided on walked out on stage at that very moment, and Blaine felt his chest tighten at the very sight of him.

Kurt had chosen a man named Adam, who was also a performer. Adam was Kurt's love interest on the stage and off, and Blaine knew that it was a match made in heaven. Adam was just as kind, if not a bit demanding, and Blaine couldn't find a reason to hate him. As much as it hurt him to understand that Kurt would never be interested in him, he knew that the heart wants what the heart wants. But as he watched the two on stage that night, performing the very song Blaine had fantasized singing with Kurt a number of times- That was a new kind of pain. This was the pain that one could never completely patch up, the type of pain that only blossomed from a lost love. And Blaine loved Kurt. A part of him knew he would never stop loving Kurt, no matter who he got married to, or if they never spoke again. Kurt held his heart, but one can't keep something safe if one never knew it belonged to them in the first place. 

* * *

5 years later, on the anniversary of the opening night of the show that helped start Kurt's career as a Broadway star, the show that made him fall in love with Adam a little bit more every time they sang _Come What May_ in front of the throngs of people each night, Kurt Hummel stood in front of a white arch, gripping onto his fiancès hands. Standing behind him was his best friend, Blaine Anderson. Blaine had helped him the most throughout his stressful career, and was always a shoulder to cry on, or to support himself on if he had too much to drink. Blaine was a rock in his life, and Kurt didn't know what he would do without him. 

Then there was Adam. Adam, the man he cherished most- The man who cuddled with him in front of the television, the man who cooked for him, the man who ran through lines with Kurt. The man who played guitar to help Kurt sleep on his most fitful nights, the man who loved Kurt just as much, if not more than Kurt loved him. He stared into Adam's eyes as he willed his own not to tear up from listening to Adam's vows. His entire body was tingling from excitement, full of love for the man who had changed his entire life for the better. Kurt could barely hear the priest over his own heart, but he knew what was going on.  
"I do." Kurt choked out, his voice trembling and his heart full of admiration and love for the man in front of him. The priest continued on, and Kurt's breath caught as he waited for Adam to speak.

"I.." Adam's brow furrowed, and he licked his lips. "I…" He started again. He blinked, and squeezed Kurt's hands almost frantically. Then he collapsed. There was a collective hush, tears paused in their falling, the sniffs of his family ceasing. Kurt stared in shock at the love of his life lying at his feet, until something inside of him broke. He crumbled to his knees, flipping Adam over onto his back, trying to ignore the feeling of pure dread caving in on him. The entire room seemed to surge into motion, and suddenly someone was yelling that they were going to call 911, and another person yelled at Kurt to check Adam's pulse. His hands shaking, he gripped at Adam's wrist, searching for anything. He couldn't breathe, the pounding in his chest and the sound around him making it hard for him to concentrate. 

He felt a gentle hand push away his arm, and he looked up. Blaine was getting down beside him amidst the chaos, putting two fingers on Adam's neck. Kurt could sense Blaine's shift in emotion, could tell by his pale face that it wasn't good. Kurt was choking on his own words, trying to tell someone, _anyone_ to please find a doctor and that it was probably another fainting spell and that they would laugh it off in a year and that it would be okay. But the way Blaine grabbed his hand, interlocking their fingers, the way he stood up and helped Kurt up too, the way he led them over to Kurt's dad- It told him otherwise. The thrumming in his ears became almost too loud for him to bear, and the lump in his throat made it hard for him to breathe. Little black spots danced in his vision. Kurt stumbled back, sitting down hard onto a chair and putting his face in his hands. He looked up when someone started rubbing his shoulder.  
Blaine again- He was saying something. Kurt tried to listen, but his vision started to blur around the edges, and the little black spots were dancing around much faster, larger than before. The world went dark, Blaine's face being the last thing he saw clearly before his entire world collapsed. 


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt woke up in a hospital bed. He had no idea why, but all he knew was that his mouth was fuzzy, his face felt swollen, and he wanted Adam. He looked around for a button that could call a nurse over, so he could ask for him. Adam was probably out getting some food for the both of them, Kurt knew he wouldn't leave him alone in a hospital for long. He finally found the little red button, and he held it down, his mind still reeling. He wondered what the date was, his wedding was coming up and he knew they couldn't postpone it, no matter what. The date held meaning to the both of them, it was the day they had fallen in love with each other. Kurt knew that having bad dreams about your wedding probably meant bad omens or something, but he didn't care. He had planned this wedding, poured his sweat and blood into the flower arrangements, the cake, the venue. Judging from the setting of his dream, it was perfect. 

Until Adam had collapsed. Kurt frowned- Adam has had issues with his heart, sometimes fainting when he gets too excited. Maybe that had happened in his dream? He wondered if it would happen for real, too. He would have to remind Adam to take his medication. A nurse came walking in with a tray of food. She smiled at Kurt, and Kurt smiled back.  
"Where's Adam?"  
Her smile dimmed. Maybe she didn't know who he was? But that seemed impossible- Adam would have visited him by now, no matter what happened. "And why am I here? Adam's my fiancè, by the way. Has he visited? We promised each other that if one of us got hurt the other would visit every day and tell the person stories to keep them occupied. Has he tried telling me a story when I was asleep?"  


The nurse's expression changed into one of slight discomfort. "Adam.. Well, your family is expected to visit soon. They'll figure this out with you, okay hun? Now please, eat your breakfast. My name is May, call me if you need anything at all." She set the tray down on the table next to him and whisked away again. Kurt frowned. She hadn't told him where Adam was yet. He looked around, trying to fully take in his surroundings. He wasn't connected to an IV, and he knew he hadn't gotten surgery recently. Then why did he have no recollection of the day before? In his dream, he had been about to get married, then Adam had fainted. The moments leading up to it were all a blur, which further solidified the fact that it was a dream. Kurt would remember getting ready for his wedding, he would remember talking to Finn, giving Blaine a hug, laying his eyes on Adam for the first time that day. Why was his head so fuzzy? 

There was a soft knock on his door, jolting him out of his thoughts.  
"Come in," he called. Was it Adam? The door opened, revealing his dad Burt, Carole, and Finn. They all looked particularly solemn, though Kurt wasn't sure why. "Are you guys okay? You seem sad. And have any of you guys talked to Adam today?" Kurt told them about the deal they had made with each other about the stories. Carole burst out crying in the middle, and Kurt stopped, bewildered. Had he made her cry?  
"Carole, are you okay? What happened? I'm so sorry if it was me who made you cry, though I don't really see how it would be me.." Kurt trailed off, looking at Finn and Burt. Both of them looked as if they wanted to say something, but they seemed unsure. "Just spit it out, guys. Why is Carole crying? Please tell me, or I'm gonna think it was my fault forever and I don't think that kind of guilt is good for my heart." That only made Carole cry harder, and as Burt opened his mouth, there was another knock. Kurt perked up, watching the door open.

It was Blaine. Kurt watched as Blaine took in the scene, Finn hugging Carole and Burt looking at the ground. "Blaine, these guys are acting really weird. Is everything alright? You're acting like someone died or something. Hopefully I can get some normalcy from you.." Kurt trailed off when he noticed Blaine frowning. "Wait.. Am I okay? Why am I here?" Blaine took a deep breath, and walked over to his cot, hesitating, then gently laying his hand over Kurt's.  
"You're okay, but.. Yesterday was your wedding, Kurt. Adam, uh.. Fainted. And he… Didn't make it through."  
Kurt frowned. "What do you mean? That was a dream, he didn't actually faint. Why would you joke about that, Blaine?"  
Blaine swallowed, staring down at Kurt. "Can I have some toast?" He asked finally, sitting down in the chair next to the cot. Burt spoke up, "I'm gonna take Carole out to calm down. Finn, you come with." Finn opened his mouth to protest, but he caught Burt's eye. He walked out of the room with them, Carole's sobs fading away.  


Kurt focused his attention on Blaine. "No, you can only have some toast if you tell me what's really going on. Don't lie to me this time. It was a dream, I'm not stupid."  
Blaine took a deep breath. "Adam had a problem with his heart. He talked to me about it, and we both decided to ignore it so your wedding day would be perfect. I- I'm so sorry, Kurt, I- I'm not lying. He passed away as soon as his heart gave out. He died loving you. I can leave if you want some time to process."  


Kurt blinked, once, twice. He forced out a light laugh. "This isn't funny, Blaine. Get Adam in here so I can hit him." Blaine stood up, licking his lips and staring heavily at Kurt.  
"Honey, this isn't a joke. He-"  
Kurt's voice rang out, shrill, desperate. "Blaine, get.. Get out. I don't want you lying to me. I woke up in this random bed in a random hospital and dad's acting weird and you're telling me that my-" Kurt laughed again, slightly hysterically, "That my fiancé is dead. I don't want you in here." Blaine's mouth was wide open, and he was looking at Kurt in a way that made Kurt want to slap him, to hit some sense into him. Adam wasn't dead. In his vows, Adam said that he would never leave Kurt. And he hadn't- This was a joke. For whatever sick reason, Blaine was lying to him, this was just an elaborate prank.  
"Kurt, I-"  


"Leave me alone. When you see Adam, tell him that I want to hear about the time in college where he hit his head and had to go to the ER. He hasn't told me that one yet." Kurt's voice came out harshly, and he watched as his best friend's brow crumpled, his eyes tear up. Blaine walked out of the room without another word, closing the door gently behind him. Kurt lay back into his bed, clenching his eyes tightly shut. He thought back to the dream. Everything about it seemed so detailed, as if it had actually happened. But what if it had? Blaine has never lied to him, and judging on the way the nurse and Carole had acted, it was plausible. Kurt pushed the idea aside. It was insane, Adam wasn't dead. He pressed the call button again, his heart hammering against his ribs. Nurse May appeared at his doorway.  


"Is it true?" Kurt whispered, studying her face. They wouldn't have roped a random person into the prank, right? "Is Adam.. Is Adam okay?"  
His gaze caught the nurse's, and his heart felt as if it was being ripped into shreds. He saw her tearful expression, her gentle smile. She nodded. "It's true."  
Kurt saw the world spinning around him, the silence of the room pounding into his skull. Slowly, he shook his head. "Okay," He said softly. "Why?" May seemed to study him for a moment, as if to gauge his reaction. "His heart gave out. The situation was too much for him, and his heart problems in the past.. He died at the scene. I am so, so sorry." Kurt tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. "He collapsed, and you fainted. We brought you here to check up on you."  
Kurt nodded again. "Just.. Give me a second to process."  
May smiled at him. "Of course." She turned around and left the room.  
He felt his eyes fill up with tears, he heard his own wracking sobs, but he felt the most peculiar thing. When he should feel devastated- he just felt completely empty, devoid of emotion. He pinched himself, then again, and again. But he didn't wake up. So it wasn't a dream. Kurt rolled over, and fell back asleep, his face still wet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey fellas! I have no idea how to really convey grief- so if you see anything that disrespects those going through a hard time, please tell me and I'll fix it as soon as possible. I'm better at writing short chapters, so that's what y'all get wooooo
> 
> I'm actually writing this for a school project, and getting graded on it!!  
Enjoy!
> 
> * * *

Blaine strode through the corridors of the hospital, ignoring the signs and the nurses, until he found a dark enough corner to let himself break down. Seeing Kurt in pain, watching the strong, independent man Blaine relied on completely lock himself up from the world- it made Blaine feel useless. He had helped Kurt through so, so much in their past- arguments with Adam, not getting the part he wanted- Blaine thought Kurt trusted him at that point. And while he knew that Kurt would be a little weary of the truth at first- anyone would be- he didn’t think he would get blamed, or accused of lying to hurt him. But as Blaine feebly wrapped his arms around his knees, he wondered if Adam’s death was _his_ fault.  
Adam had spoken to him about how his heart seemed to be thumping erratically in his chest much more than it should be, and Blaine had offered to call his nurse for him. Adam declined, and said that he wanted to make the day perfect for Kurt. Blaine had let him walk through that door without taking his medicine, because Adam wanted to be his true authentic self for his vows.

At the time, Blaine had even appreciated the sentiment, without a second thought to Adam’s health. Him and Adam had grown to be great friends, and although the underlying feelings of jealousy that remained with him after five years, Blaine couldn’t be happier that even if he wasn’t the one his friend wanted, Kurt had Adam. During the eight months of preparation for the show, Blaine had tried to make small talk with Kurt during his fittings, and he slowly became his friend. Then they started being around each other outside of work, and they grew to have a bond no one could compare to. Not even Adam. Blaine took a grim satisfaction in knowing that Kurt always came to him anytime Adam couldn’t understand, then immediately felt guilty- Was he seriously jealous of a dead guy? Blaine knew that Adam had been annoyed by their close friendship, even going as far as to confronting Blaine about how he felt. He had denied any feelings of romantic attraction, and remembered turning it right back to how Adam seemed to be awfully jealous- another thing Blaine regretted.

All of that seemed so juvenile to him now. Kurt was hurting, and Blaine should be there for him. Just as he was about to get up, he heard the tapping of high heels, and Kurt’s nurse walked around the corner. She seemed startled to see him, but still murmured, “I think he believes me. Go visit him in an hour or so, he’s processing everything.”  
Blaine nodded and thanked her. Though part of him still stung from being called a liar, Kurt deserved patience. His near-husband just died in front of him, after all. Blaine made his way back to the hospital room, retracing his steps as best as he could. 

* * *

Kurt got sent home three days after his wedding. The nights he had spent at the hospital had been terrible- He found himself waking up multiple times a night, crying, his hands tingling where Adam had squeezed them. He kept reliving the day in his dreams, over and over again. Part of him hoped that sleeping in his own apartment might help him, but he hadn’t realized that it would remind him so much of Adam. Nothing in the apartment had changed- Adam’s coffee mug lay in the sink, his clothes still in his drawers, his favorite book resting on the nightstand next to their bed. Nothing had changed, but everything was different. Kurt walked over to the book, slipping in Adam’s bookmark and tenderly creasing the dog-eared page back to normal. He held the book to his chest for a moment, then set it back down. He washed the coffee mug by hand, and put it back in the cabinet. He lit Adam’s favorite candle, and let the familiar smell wash over him. It was a comforting scent- honeysuckle and lemon. He flopped down onto their bed, making sure not to stray from the left side, and turned off his phone. He would be okay.

Blaine stood outside of Kurt’s apartment after getting off of a call with Burt Hummel. The man told him to take care of his son, and Blaine was not about to let him down too. He knocked on the door, and a few moments later it flew open.  
“Hey Blaine!!” Kurt stood, grinning at him. Music was playing in the background- Blaine recognized it to be the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge. He could barely choke out a shocked “hello” before Kurt had him by the sleeve, tugging him inside.The door closed behind them, and he looked around the apartment with wide eyes, before his gaze focused on the table. It was completely covered with baked goods; macarons, cupcakes, pastries, and an entire 4-layer cake. The kitchen counters were covered in flour, and Kurt fared no better. He apparently hadn’t bothered with an apron, which was already unusual, but Blaine’s eyes were drawn to the shirt he was wearing. 

“Kurt, your Marc Jacobs! You got loads of flour on it!” That shirt had cost Kurt 700 dollars, and it was one of his favorites. Kurt just shrugged. “Ah, whatever. Adam never liked it anyway.” Blaine’s jaw dropped. “Kurt, that shirt cost you so much money! You literally had to give up cheesecake for 3 months, and you’re telling me that it’s no big deal that it’s ruined? You almost beheaded me when I spilled water too close to it once.” Kurt rolled his eyes.  
“Loosen up, would you? It’s just a shirt.” Blaine gaped at him. "Want some food? Adam loves macarons so none of those please."  
Blaine's heart sank. "Um.. Kurt? You're acting weird. You do know what.. happened. To Adam.. right?" Kurt nodded. 

"I'm allowed to cook once in a while. It isn't your job to tell me what to do, you know. I'm okay, really." Kurt popped a baby cupcake in his mouth, as if to end the conversation, and Blaine sighed. "Can you at least turn off the music?" Kurt nodded again, and walked into his bedroom. Blaine took a moment to look around some more. The apartment was so intensely _Adam_. His blanket was on the back of the couch, and from what Blaine could see, Kurt had put all of his own knick-knacks away, substituting them with all of the various things Adam had bought for them throughout the years. The dining room wasn't much better- through all of the food on the table were the placemats Adam had gotten years ago- Blaine remembered Kurt complaining about how much they clashed with the walls, threatening Adam to put them in storage before he burned them. But there they were. The music stopped, and following the silence came sobs. He made his way towards Kurt’s bedroom, opening his closed door. Kurt was holding the music disc, sunk onto his knees. Blaine sat down in front of him on the floor and put a hand on his knee. 

Kurt’s head jerked up, his shock evident. He started rubbing at his face, dropping the disc on the ground.  
“Blaine.. Can you leave please, I really don’t want you seeing me like this.” Blaine shook his head, leaning forward and hugging him as tightly as he could. Kurt stiffened for a moment, until he sagged into Blaine’s touch, crying even harder. A few moments went by, until Kurt wrenched backwards, sniffling, looking down at his ruined clothes. The world seemed to stop as he took in his appearance, and he let out a heart-wrenching, broken sob, collapsing into Blaine’s arms again.  
He wanted so badly to comfort him, to tell him that it was okay, but Blaine knew it wasn’t. Kurt wouldn’t be okay anytime soon. 


End file.
